

Roses are #FF0000, violets are #0000FF...

['hip','hip']

I have a UPD joke, but you may not get it.

There is no place like 127.0.0.1

There is a Band named 1023MB,
    they haven't had a gig yet

The Developers wife tells him: "Run to the store and
	pick up a load of bread. If they have eggs,
	get a dozen".
The Developer comes home with 12 loaves of bread.

A SQL query goes into a bar, walks up to two tables
	and asks, "Can I join you?"

My password is the last 8 digits of Pi

I haven't lost my mind, I have it backed up somewhere

Anyone who thinks the Customer is always right,
 has never worked Tech Support!

According to Chemistry: Alcohol is a Solution

Bow to me for I am root.

=~ /bb|[^b]{2}/ (python RexEx: 2 B or Not 2 B)

Comment my code, why do you think it's called code?

SELECT * FROM users WHERE clue > 0
    (no results returned)

Do you know why Developers get
	Halloween and Christmas confused?
      Oct(31) == Dec(25)

Eschew Obfuscation

A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than
 any other invention, with the possible
 exceptions of handguns and Tequilla...

I'd like to change the world,
   but God won't give me the source code

A Developer is standing on a street corner
   smoking a cigarette.  His friend stops
   by and says "Those are bad for you.
   Didn't you read the warnings on the package?"

   The Developer says "I am a Developer,
   we do not care about warnings,
   we only care about errors."

One does not simply telnet in Mordor

The wonderful thing about Standards,
   there are so many to choose from.

If you find me on Life Support, unplug me,
  and plug me back in.  See if that works.

They told me my password needed to be eight characters,
    so I entered "Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs."

A byte walks into a bar, looking depressed,
    the bar tender ask are you all right,
    the byte says I have a parity error,
    the bar tender says yes you look off a bit.

My disaster recover plan:
	Keep my resume updated,
	and store it off site.

If at first you don't succeed, call it version 1.0

I am not not your F1 button

I am not Anti-Social, I'm just not User Freindly

Life's too short to remove the USB safely

You are the CSS to my HTML

My software never has a bug,
  it just develops random features

Home is where Google is.

Caps Lock; Preventing Login since 1980.

An IDE is no substitute for an Intelligent Developer.

Ask not for whom the <CONTROL-G> tolls.

Programming today is a race between software engineers
  striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof
  programs, and the Universe trying to produce
  bigger and better idiots.
  So far, the Universe is winning.

I am root, if you see me laughing,
   you better have a backup.

Binary as easy as: 01 10 11 ...

